Big News here at Social Media Commando HQ, folks!
That’s right, you don’t have to waste hours in front of a computer screen anymore. And you can finally get back to using your iPhones and BlackBerries for making phone calls instead of trying to get online!
Our new message is simple: OUTSOURCE YOUR WAY TO THE NEXT LEVEL!
Yep, we’ve sold out, baby. Here’s how you can too — just three easy steps between you and all more Internet money (Because social media is a suckers game, that’s for certain):
- Follow a Crap Ton of People on Twitter — This is wicked easy now that there are such cheap auto following services out there.
- Call Yourself a Guru and Setup a PayPal Account — There’s money to be made prolonging problems, it’s called consulting! Become a guru consultant and use vague jargon to score jobs on the web. PayPal will make it easier for you to take people’s cash without having to waste gas money picking up a check.
- Hire a Low Wage Foreigner on using Elance — Score! Don’t bother completing jobs yourself, this will only eat into the amount of time you spend hooking new jobs. Signing up new business is your only job! I recommend bidding several people off one another to drive down costs.
Don’t bother thanking me, it’s what I do when I’m not auto-following people and exploiting communicating with others.
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Alright, maybe this was a stupid goof.
Obviously you don’t get ahead automating everything. I just figured if I posted something like this on April 1st it would be way too transparent 
More serious posts to come tomorrow.